friday

The Olathe Community Orchestra plays its next concert on Sunday, Nov. 22 at 3:00 at the Olathe Performing Arts Center. Admission is free, and the program includes Bizet, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, and Schubert.

opportunity

My college is still looking for an evening Social Studies/Language Arts instructor. For more information, go to the link for KCK Community College.

the ebony clock chimed midnight

We studied Edgar Allan Poe in class yesterday. Scary man, scary life, scary writing. He does an amazing job of delving into the deepest, darkest places of the human psyche and playing on our greatest fears. I read “The Masque of the Red Death” to the class, and some were actually caught up in the story. Without my prompting, even, they started talking about the various symbols, mood, and theme. They identified the literary allusions and even drew parallels to contemporary society. The best part was when, after class, one woman said, “this isn’t something I ever would have read on my own, but I really enjoyed it. When are we going to read some more?”

Ah, I’m developing some great plans for these students.

what did wednesday ever do to you?

I’m questioning the wisdom of teaching grammar on Mondays. Really, there are few subjects in language arts duller than grammar (my apologies to Lynn Truss), and Mondays are already dreary enough by their very nature, so why would I compound the problem?

I can’t teach it on Thursdays, though, because no one wants to end the week with grammar, and Tuesdays are only marginally better than Mondays. But the grammar must be taught, so that leaves Wednesdays. I am so very sorry to do that to you, Wednesday, but you were in such a vulnerable position.

Monday, from now on, shall be something more fun. I’m thinking creative writing, or maybe drama or poetry? Mondays deserve that. Oh, and a big mug of coffee. Mondays definitely deserve that.

the fourth veil

This is part four of a seven part series. Read parts one, two, and three first.

Robbins lets loose on organized religion in the fourth section of the book. He says that when the fourth veil is removed we will see that, “organized religion [is] a major obstacle to peace and understanding…religion is a paramount contributor to human misery. It is not merely the opium of the masses, it is the cyanide.”

To those who would point to the comfort that religion brings millions, he responds that, “the Deity does not dawdle in the comfort zone! If one yearns to see the face of the divine, one must break out of the aquarium, escape the fish farm, to go swim up wild cataracts, dive in deep fjords.”

He is right. Religion has been used as a weapon of much evil and violence. I believe, however, that religion is merely the weapon used and not the source of the evil. It seems that as a human race we are bent on discord over peace, anger over compassion, and self-preservation over justice. If it is not religion, then it is some other weapon wielded. Faith can also be the source of great good and courageous efforts of humanity. But then, even those without faith have been known to be great humanitarians.

When religion becomes a comfort zone, when it encourages people to be satisfied with the status quo, then it truly is an opium. Exceptional religious leaders have instigated great unrest and change, fighting social evils and bringing justice to millions. They are too often the exception, though.

Some within the church complain that faith has become too individualistic, more about “what’s in it for me” rather than community. This is true. On the other hand, it is often not individualized enough, more about believing what I’ve been told because I’m a member of this, that, or the other, rather than listening to one’s own voice and discovering for one’s self what is most reasonable and most life-giving.

Maybe once the fourth veil is removed we will all be surprised.

almost speechless

Think the women’s rights battle is over? Not even close. In case you haven’t heard, a recent bill was introduced in the Senate prohibiting the Department of Defense from working with contractors “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.” This bill was introduced in response to an incident where a woman who worked for Halliburton/KBR was gang raped and tortured, but can not sue the company because of a clause in her employment contract. I’m sure when she signed the contract she had no idea that she would be the victim of such atrocious violence, especially at the hands of those within her company.

The bill passed, but sadly, 30 senators actually voted against it. An outraged public has nicknamed them “Republicans for Rape.” Yes, there are always at least two sides to every story, and they have their reasons for voting against the bill. None of those reasons is adequate, though. Oh, and guess what? Not only are all 30 who voted against the bill Republican (though not all Republicans voted against the bill), but also they are all men.

It is time for an end to the good ol’ boys club. If you agree, go to this website for a list of the senators who voted against the bill. If one of them represents you, write him a letter. Otherwise, write to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.

all I want is all you want

My new good friend and colleague Kai Michelle McCoy is a little bummed that I haven’t talked about her in my blog yet so, Michelle, oh beautiful, vivacious, funny, thoughtful, warm-hearted Michelle, this blog’s for you.

Yesterday, driving back to school in her car, she played me one of her favorite Joni Mitchell tunes, “All I Want.” Wonderful song, Michelle, thanks. I greatly appreciate new friends who introduce me to new music.

We have reached the middle of this semester. It’s been exciting to watch the progress of my students so far this fall, and I have great hope for the next quarter. As I watch them move forward, it is always in the back of my mind that they will all move on soon. I get to witness and participate in only a small fraction of their lives’ journeys. I know what they have shared with me of their pasts, but I will probably not know their futures. Will she succeed in nursing school as she has dreamed of her whole life? Will he own his own business someday? Will he be a great writer?

Will they all really and truly believe in themselves for the rest of their lives?

is there a god? does it matter?

The top twitter trending topic for much of last night was "no god." I couldn't keep up with the tens of thousands of tweets that poured in, but of those I read, it looked like the "there is no god" tweets were beating out the "yes there is a god!" tweets. My question is, what difference does belief make?

Read more and make your comments here.

talk to me

I was invited to a free thinkers discussion group this past weekend. We met at a coffee shop, watched a Discovery movie about “Ardi,” the oldest skeleton found, then discussed the movie and any other topic that came up. Most people were atheists except for one agnostic and me. They didn’t hold it against me. The discussion was free and open, more of an exchange of ideas than debate. I was impressed with how well informed everyone was, even about religion. Many of them knew the Bible and Christian doctrine better than most Christians. They also understood the basics of other religions and were well read on the evening’s main topic. What struck me the most, though, was how free the conversation was. No idea was rejected, everyone freely contributed without fear of saying something wrong, and we all came away with increased knowledge and perspective. No one tried to convince anyone of a certain viewpoint, but instead we all asked each other probing questions. Who wouldn’t want to join a group like this?

the sun will still shine

Took a long walk through the woods yesterday afternoon and allowed the sunshine to soak through my skin all the way to my soul. The leaves exploded with color while the grass was still as green as in spring. Guess the week’s worth of rain was worth it. How sad it would have been to suffer through an entire week of rain and not celebrate a glorious hour in the sunshine. So, even if you are suffering or in a sad place now, keep your eyes open for the sun, for you never know when it will appear. When it does, waste no time running outside, laughing at the sky, rolling in the grass, and embracing the beauty.

the third veil

This is the third part of a seven part series. Read parts one and two first.

The third veil is the veil of political illusion, of blindly following our leaders to the point of giving up our freedom. We thus suffer a death of the soul long before the death of the body and actually believe that it is unavoidable or, even worse, commendable and necessary.

One of Robbins’s main characters peeks under the veil and realizes that, “Freedom could not be owned. Therefore, it could not be appropriated. Or controlled. It could, however, be relinquished.” Sadly, because of the veil of political illusion, most do not even know that they have relinquished their freedom.

Politicians, world leaders, dictators, bureaucrats, and tyrants wield the power they do only because people have handed it to them. Sadly, when those who could retain or reclaim their freedom choose to relinquish it, they infuse political leaders with the power to not only control them, but also to control and oppress those who never had an opportunity to know freedom.

Where in your own life have you handed over your freedom, allowed someone else to make your decisions and determine the course of your life?

"Paranormal Activity" scary for its realism

I've decided to start a Dangerous Movies series to go along with my Dangerous Books series. No, not just because a movie is so much faster to get through than a book. Well, ok, maybe that is a big motivator.

On opening day I went to a matinee of "Paranormal Activity," me and 10 teenagers who all sat about 15 rows behind me. So there I was, all by myself, watching this terrifying movie. And yes, it was very scary. So, are there really demons out there? Maybe, maybe not, but we all definitely battle our own demons, and that's probably the scariest part of the movie.

Read more.

Tweet it! At the top of my Examiner articles is now a button you can click to quickly and easily tweet the link to the article.

Did Wordsworth know about poppin'?

Me: R____, [one of my students] I want to use some rap lyrics in class for studying poetry. Do you know which artists have clean lyrics?

R___: [laughing and looking at me in disbelief] You want a rap artist with clean lyrics? G___, do you know any rap artists with clean lyrics? [G___ smiles and shakes her head] D____, you know rap better than me. Ms. Pullin wants to know a rap artist with clean lyrics.

D____: [chuckles and give me his shy smile] Clean lyrics? Well, Ms. Pullin, there’s explicit, and then there’s not as explicit. The radio mixes are better than the original lyrics.

R___: How about R&B, Ms.Pullin?

Me: Ok, who’s an R&B artist you would recommend?

R___: Chris Brown. Look up some of his lyrics.

[R___, D____ and I google Chris Brown lyrics, and they suggest the song Poppin’. I read through the lyrics.]

Me: Um, ok. These seem to be clean. What does “poppin’” mean?

R___: You know, Ms.Pullin. [breaks into dancing]

Me: Got it. What about this word, “crunk.” What does that mean?

D___: Well, Ms.Pullin, that’s like, come on, let’s crunk.

Me: Ah, got it. [I lift up a quick, silent prayer: oh please god, please let “crunk” not be an explicit word.]

So, yeah, we read Chris Brown’s “Poppin’” in class. Some highlights:

She throwing her hair

She working them jeans

She talking that talk just li, li, like I like it

She keep it on and poppin’

Shawty keep it on and poppin’

That and William Wordsworth. They had a hard time understanding him but tried to flow it, and I helped them with his language. I had difficulty understanding the Brown, but they helped me out. They have also promised to teach me how to crunk (and yes, I know what the urban dictionary says the definition is, but it’s different in this context). So, we’re all learning.

yummy

Last night, as I baked batch after batch of cookies for my students (this week’s request- peanut butter chocolate chip) I asked myself, “why am I doing this? Am I trying to win their favor or approval?” I pondered that, but decided that no, I’m not trying to win their affection. The truth is, I don’t really care whether they love or even like me. I want them to learn; I want them to enjoy class so that they have a positive experience of higher education. I make the cookies, though, not for their gratitude or love, but because I care for them, and this is one expression of my affection.

Maybe it was the house I was raised in. Mom always baked cinnamon rolls for her dear friends. I remember her pans covering the kitchen counters, table, even the floor at Christmas time. Baking time (and we’re talking days on end) filled the house with warmth and sweet smells, like a big sugary hug. I can’t make rolls like mom (dough won’t rise for me; it’s a curse), but I can make cookies. They are my signature. When I was a campus minister, I delivered homemade cookies to new students. At Christmas, friends and family receive hand decorated sugar cookies. And for my dear students, a new cookie flavor every week. I love you all, even when I glare or raise my voice. I love you.

are we laughing or crying?

I was pondering yesterday the three categories of Shakespearean plays: comedy, tragedy, and history (had lots of pondering time since my classes were test taking). If our lives are plays that we write, as many literary giants suggest, what kind of play or movie would you like to write? Is what you want to write what you actually are writing? The movie “Stranger than Fiction” takes an interesting twist on this idea, where the main character’s life is actually being written by a novelist whose voice he hears in his head. He desperately tries to figure out what kind of story she’s writing, and is saddened to discover that she only writes tragedies. That’s better than a history, though. Remember our lesson from last week? You can identify histories because they bore you to tears.

Might there be another category, though? Just because everyone survives to the end, does it have to be a comedy? Maybe so, but maybe it can be a comedy with pith. We laugh often and with great gusto, but there are also profound moments of joy, beauty and pain. I think I’ve heard the term dramedy before. Yes, dramedy would be my preferred genre.

Republican Olympia Snowe votes the way she wants, Republican party be damned

I love women who kick ass. Can I say ass? Sure, it's my personal blog. I can say what I want. She's not looking for media attention- if anything, she's tried to avoid it, but after thorough research and lots and lots of deliberation, she chose to vote for the health care reform bill in the Senate Finance Committee. No promises yet as to how she'll vote on the floor.

Read more about how Snowe makes her decisions.

Oh, and by the way, the coolest fact about Snowe is that her birth date is February 21. Yep, that's right, the same as yours truly. It's like she's a long lost sister.

monday, monday

This is my Monday morning conversation with my second class:

“Good morning, everybody. It’s incredibly quiet in here. Did you all have a good weekend?”

“It was ok. How was your weekend, Ms. Pullin?” (from the unofficial spokeswoman)

“Not bad.”

“You missed us though, didn’t you?”

“Of course I missed you all. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Because we’re your favorite class, right?”
“Oh, you know you’re my favorite class. I love you the most.”

“Yeah, you probably say that to all your classes.”

“How can you say such a thing?”

Just in case any of my students reads my blog, I won’t say who is my favorite class (but you know it’s really you, don’t you?)

worshipping at Beth Torah

It's been a while since I've written a church highlight, so sorry. This past Friday night I worshipped at Beth Torah, a synagogue in Overland Park. It was an awesome experience. They were warm, hospitable, and delightful. As luck would have it, it was a holiday, Simchat Torah, a celebration that involves, among other things, dancing around the sanctuary several times. Great night!

Read more about it.

the second veil

This entry is the second part of a seven part series. It will make much more sense if you’ve read part one.

When the second veil is removed humans will see that the world around them that they consider dead, lifeless, motionless, or less important is alive and active. “The inanimate world appears static, ‘dead,’ to humans only because of our neuromuscular chauvinism. We are so enamored of our own activity range that we blind ourselves to the fact that most of the action of the universe is unfolding outside our range…”

We are blind to that around us which moves significantly slower (the liquid flow of glass) or faster (the zipping of electrons) than our own bodies. How can we be expected to stop long enough to watch a river change its course? We also miss that which is too small or too big to detect with the naked eye. They can make for some fun pictures in high school science, but then are quickly forgotten.

When we see and recognize all that is alive around us, we will be able to appreciate the intimate relationship we all share. Our arrogance toward the supposed inanimate world will be replaced by an openness to learning, our fear and trepidation by mutual giving and receiving. This goes far beyond care for the earth. It is more a living with and among all that is in the universe.

when you're a jet you're a jet

We watched West Side Story yesterday in class. It was to present the Romeo and Juliet drama in a fun way. Of course, I choked up at the end when Maria was singing to her dying Tony. I thought I hid it well until one of my students said,

“Ms. Pullin, why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” I said, “why would I be crying?”

After watching the movie, we talked about the theme of violence, and I gave them the assignment to brainstorm ideas to the essay question, “What are some of the causes of violence and how could they be addressed?” They surprised me with their insight and knowledge about the causes of violence, but I was saddened when most of them said that they could think of no way to adequately address the causes.

One student was especially insightful in identifying the causes, dividing them into three main categories: religion, race and land/territory/power/money. He broke down each category into several specific problems. When it came time to address the problems, though, he only came up with one idea; get rid of religion. Interesting idea. I’m discovering that this is a very pervasive thought among my students and other young people I’m meeting.

say what you want

I’ve often wondered the motivation behind the hurtful words we sometimes throw at other people. In my own life, when I have said cruel things to those I love it is almost always from a place of hurt or frustration. But why say mean things to a stranger? I used to think it was just a nasty attitude, but I now suspect that it, too, comes from a place of hurt or anger. Perhaps some people have no one close to them to whom they can safely lash out. Perhaps they have hidden fears that they are afraid of revealing. Maybe they are not even aware of how much they are hurting inside. We all have wounds, some easily identifiable, some festering inside undetected until they become so huge that we can no longer ignore them. Or maybe some have never known real pain but see it all around them and have a real fear that it may someday touch them. With this in mind, perhaps the healthy, though difficult, response to cruel words is sympathy rather than retaliation.

This is why I wake up every morning

My students learned yesterday that the major theme in Romeo and Juliet is not romance, and in fact Shakespeare, though he wrote many love sonnets, didn’t write romance plays. I tried to make it very simple for them. If the main characters die at the end, it’s a tragedy. If they don’t die, it’s a comedy. If it bores you to tears, it’s a history. I ignored the comments of a few that all Shakespeare bores them to tears, and they agreed to watch the movie “O” with me on Thursday, provided, of course, I bring cookies again. This week’s request is Snickerdoodle.

I must admit, I’m surprised at how quickly I’ve grown attached to these students. I feel as if we’re all on this endeavor together. Their gains are my gains; their frustrations are mine as well. My driving force for waking up early every morning now is not the paycheck, but the assurance that they will be there waiting for me, ready to take the next small step in their educations and their lives. What a great privilege it is to be there walking beside them.

Venison, it's what's for dinner

Just in case you didn't mark your calendar, now is the time. The city is brining out the sharpshooters to cull the deer herd at Shawnee Mission Park from 200 per square mile to a meager and manageable 50. It's not going to be pretty, that's for sure. In one final effort to stop these efforts, protesters blocked the entrance to the park today. They managed to draw the attention of the news, but didn't accomplish much else. Oh well. I'm sure didn't expect to have a huge impact on the outcome, but are satisfied that their voices were heard.

What does this have to do with our lives? Read here.

look closely

This tree greeted me at the end of my run yesterday. It was very unassuming: didn’t wave or shout out to me. It just stood there looking at me. I stopped and looked back at it. When it was satisfied that it had my attention, it pointed up to the sky, and so I lay down and looked up.

“There’s nothing up there, “ I said.

The tree glared at me then pointed up again. So I looked again, this time relaxing a little more, taking a little more time, listening, inhaling deeply, waiting.

And there it was, just as the tree had told me it would be.

the first veil

In my spare time I’ve been reading Tom Robbins’s “Skinny Legs and All.” I considered it for my dangerous book series, but decided it was a little too dangerous for the online journal and could possibly get me fired. So, I will tell you all about it here on my personal blog, where I can only get in a little bit of trouble.

As with all of his works, “Skinny Legs et al.” is a grand adventure in convoluted metaphors and meandering plot lines. At the core of it, though, is a profound message about the souls of inanimate objects and the very unromantic romance of Ellen and Boomer. You and me, we can do anything.

Surrounding this core, though, are his diatribes on peace, religion, love, sex, and humanity as he revises the revisionist history of the Old Testament, a revision which includes painting Jezebel in a completely different light. Instead of an evil, seductive queen, she is a strong, faithful, passionate, and dignified monarch, stately to the very end.

The book is divided into seven sections, one for each veil in Salome’s infamous dance of the seven veils. Each veil obscures a truth about our world which, when someday lifted, will reveal all mysteries and end all wars. So, for the next seven weeks, I will devote Mondays to exploring each of these veils.

The first veil is intimately associated with the goddess whom Jezebel worshiped. Robbins says, “the first of those veils conceals the repression of the Goddess, masks the sexual face of the planet, drapes the ancient foundation stone of erotic terror that props up modern man’s religion.”

Over and against the worship of the Goddess Robbins pits the patriarchal Yahweh cult. “Because the Goddess was changeable and playful, because she looked upon natural chaos as lovingly as she did natural order, because her warm feminine intuition was often at odds with cool masculine reason…resentful priests of a tribe of nomadic Hebrews led a coup against her…men control the divine channels now, and while that control may be largely an illusion, their laws, institutions, and elaborate weaponry exist primarily to maintain it.”

See, I told you it was dangerous. Robbins must be one of the most adamant, strongly opinionated feminists of his time.

this book's for you

This week was banned book week. The idea of banning books is a curious one. It is a reaction of fear, not unlike fascism, or the denying of formal education to classes or groups of people. What will happen if they read this? They will get ideas, they will question our indoctrination, they will be more difficult to control. A week that uncovers this tendency toward ignorance intrigues me. Our school library published a list of the most popular banned books, encouraging students to check one out and read it. Web sites devoted to banned books abound, including my own “Dangerous Book” series. In fact, it seems that most often the effect of banning is exactly the opposite of that intended. Books that may have sat on shelves for decades gathering dust are instead snatched up and poured over. I wonder whether some authors even intentionally include controversial material in their writing in hopes that someone somewhere will ban it, thus gaining free publicity and instant popularity. If so, it’s a brilliant idea. I encourage you to scoff ignorance. Go out this weekend and pick up something off the banned book list. Let me know if you like it.

Don't leave an empty seat

I had one of those moments today that can keep a teacher going for a long time. As I was passing back papers to my students one of them, after reading the comments I had written, looked up at me with bright eyes and said, “I’m getting better, aren’t I Ms. Pullin?” I smiled back and said, “Yes, you really are.” He smiled and looked at his girlfriend with pride on his face. His plan is to join the navy in three months, and my eyes are welling up even as I type this. Oh, please God, don’t send him to war.