The early morning drive to school is tough for my daughter and me, but we have fortunately discovered that the morning news sparks her inquisitiveness and leads to some of our best conversations.
Yesterday morning we heard this story. In Beigjing, officials are cracking down on the advertising of luxury, banning certain words and images from billboards and other ads. My daughter, who dreams of visiting China, piped up,
"What's going on in China? What are they doing there?"
"Well, it sounds like they're banning the advertising of luxury," I respond.
"What's that word, 'luxury?'"
So, the remainder of the ride we talked about the difference between necessity and luxury. Our morning commute is long enough that she had a fairly firm grasp of the concepts by the time we reached her school.
That afternoon, we stopped by my parents' house, and while Aliyah snacked on peanut butter crackers I told my mom that Aliyah learned a new vocabulary word that morning. I briefly summarized the conversations, and my mom said,
"Well, let's see how well you remember, Aliyah. I'll quiz you. Is visiting grandma's house a necessity or a luxury?"
"It's a necessity."
"Very good!" Big hug and a kiss, "And what about homework? Necessity or luxury?"
"Luxury."
"Yes! You understand the words perfectly."
At this point, being the good mother that I am, I rolled my eyes and and questioned the wisdom of ever bringing my daughter back there again.
But maybe they had a point. In my mind, I played out a couple of scenarios. What if her attitude were reversed? Homework is a necessity and visiting grandma is a luxury. Necessity must always come before luxury, so she works hard at achieving the best grades and, eventually, the best-paying job, the most successful business, achieve, achieve, achieve. work, work, work, and when you have leftover time, you can indulge in a few (but only a few, everything in moderation) luxuries like visiting grandma, playing with friends, traveling to China. My mind and spirit are exhausted just thinking about it.
Then I play out the scenario with her answers. Yes, there's the homework, but first, take care of the necessity of visiting grandma, laughing with Papa, digging in the fresh dirt in the garden, riding bikes. Yes, studying this field would have more career potential, but studying the subject where her passion lies is necessary first. Investing time there could lead to a great business opportunity, but China must be visited first.
What if our hearts' desires and longings were the necessities, and we questioned all those things that the culture and authorities try to convince us are a must? What if we didn't blindly accept every time we heard, "You need to..." "You have to...." "You must..."
What if we simply said, "no," and instead chose for ourselves what is necessary and what is luxury? What if we didn't feel the need to justify, explain, or defend our choices to those whose necessity and luxury lists are different from ours? What if we didn't question their lists?
My latest necessity? Summit Mount Elbert.
