Pastors are useless

Sometimes I feel useless, especially in a family full of useful people.

My grandmother recently had hip replacement surgery, and struggled through recovery. What a blessing for her that both a daughter-in-law and a granddaughter are nurses. Her daughter who is a social worker at the hospital was also a great help. In fact, most of our family members served her in significant ways. Honestly, though, sometimes I feel like the unique gifts of a pastor are impractical at best.

When I called my mom to ask when would be the best time to visit grandma, I offered to bring communion. Though I bring communion to church members in the hospital, I was half in jest this time. I'm her granddaughter, not her pastor, and how insignificant were some juice and bread compared with the real care everyone else offered.

It's shameful evidence of my lack of faith. I proclaim that communion is a mysterious means of God's powerful grace. I treat the elements with the deep respect that I believe is appropriate. I've even taught that communion can act as a converting sacrament. So why did I think it was a silly gift to bring my beloved grandmother?

But my mom said that yes, grandma would like for me to bring her communion. So I did. I visited with her for a couple of hours first, putting it off to the end, feeling a little silly when I pulled out my communion-to-go kit. Feeling like a little girl playing dress-up.

But I did it, anyway. I talked a little about the message from Sunday morning, read from Matthew, blessed the elements, and served my grandma communion, still not fulling believing in its effect.

I'm eternally thankful that God's work does not depend upon my weak, pathetic faith.

In the midst of my doubts and insecurities, God answered my prayer and was present in the bread and wine. They were for us the body and blood of Jesus Christ.

Communion is a means of grace, after all. And no person's gift from God is useless, not even a preacher's.