I have this secret, long-standing fear of being found out. What if everyone knew?
What if my daughter found out that I don't know everything. I don't know how God made bears, and I don't really understand why strawberries are good for her.
What if my congregation finds out that every Sunday as I stand before them, I am trembling inside? My heart races when I preach, and the Bible confuses me, too.
What if my friends find out that I never fully recovered from my middle school fear of rejection? Always in the back of my mind, I'm wondering, "do they like me?"
What if my staff find out that I'm not nearly as calm and confident as I appear? What if I don't really appear calm and confident, and I'm just fooling myself?
What if I'm the only one in the world in hiding?
4 comments:
Dagney - Thanks for sharing. I find your transparency and honesty in this post to be a challenging help to considering my own fears. Thanks.
Andrew Conard
I can tell you that you're not the only one in hiding. I've still got some lingering self-esteem issues for a number of reasons (one of which being that I am the youngest person in my core group of friends). So, for what it's worth, there are at least two of us.
I found myself revisiting this after some of our conversation last week. As I re-read it, it was as poignant as I remembered. I too, often worry that they'll find out...
Dagney, your post has left me sad and dissappointed. I hope and pray that your message encourages honesty and open communication in those marriages that are without it. Honesty is so powerful. It produces such a great feeling of freedom and self worth.
May GOD bless and watch after you.
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