250 people were summoned to report to court on the Monday after Easter. We reported at 8:30 in the morning, checked in, and given directions to the courtroom. It was 9:15 when the judge came in and all were asked to rise. She was very cordial but blunt and to the point. She made a strong point for jurors not to waste her time by being late. She had a great leading remark, something in the order of, " When each of you received your summons in the mail, you thought 'why me?' or 'how can I get out of this?' or both." Most of us laughed. She then explained the law, reading portions of it word by word, and talked about civic duty. It was very interesting. After that she explained the process of elimination. First the computer would pick 60 names at random. Those 60 people would stay for questioning; the others would leave having fulfilled their duty. My name was one of the 60 picked.
After the others left the courtroom, the judge then told us about the trial. It was regarding a case of a man accused of murder in the 1st degree--3 adult members of a family--and aggravated assault with intent to murder another person. My heart sank. Up until then I had kind of wanted to get on the jury and serve. I immediately started to "borrow trouble" with all sorts of scenarios in my mind.
The clerks passed out a 5 page questionnaire that all of us were asked to fill out. Then we were all given a card with a group letter and a juror number. Each group was assigned a specific time to report back. My time was Thursday at 9 am.
Between teaching, getting ready for a hymn festival, normal duties at the church and the family stuff I would worry over the trial. The death penalty. That was a specter haunting me. The judge had told us NOT to talk about the trial, to read any publicity, etc. However, I did talk to Pastor Mike about the death penalty. I tend to drive a little on the fast side, I've been known to jaywalk but I've never actually thought about not upholding a law. Oklahoma has the death penalty as law. I'm supposed to abide by the law. I couldn't even really talk to my husband. How much of our conversation would be "abstract" and how much of it would be because he didn't want me to serve on a murder trial jury? At Aunt Shirley's funeral last Tuesday, my mind would turn to the family who had lost so much and suffered so terribly. But no matter what the jury would find or do, that family's loss could never be fixed. Justice? What is it really? Could I play God?
I was very nervous when I reported back for jury duty Thursday. The courtroom door had signs on it saying closed session. For some reason that startled me. I was involved in something that was "closed". As we filed in, the attorneys, court clerk, defendant all stood up. As we crossed the floor I noticed an x in red duct tape on the floor. Hmmm.
All stand--the judge comes in--you may be seated. We are reminded of our oaths that were administered at our first session. We must be honest and tell the truth even if embarrassing. She was really trying to impress the seriousness of the selection process--this is not TV or a video game.
Couple of easy questions--do you live in Cleveland County, are of you legal age, etc--to get used to speaking in turn and loudly enough so all could hear, including the court reporter.
Harder questions. Can you disregard statements if stricken from the record? Can you follow my specific directions regarding the law and what may go against everything you think. Several flippant "of course" or "yes". She asked several people to take their time with their answers. My turn. Your honor, does this question include the punishment phase of the trial if defendant is found guilty? Yes. I have reservations. Mrs. Pullin, so noted; that will be addressed in a minute. She finished the rest of the row's answers. Paused. Then explained exactly what the charges were and the punishments applicable if found guilty: life imprisonment w/chance of parole, life without parole or death. The death penalty had specific criteria to meet.
Question; Can you follow the law in regards to the 3 phases of the penalty. Yes. Yes.. Sure. The judge asks that respondent to think about his answer. Yes. Flippant yes. A hesitant yes. Yes, but for the death penalty the criteria would have be very obvious. yesss. Mrs. Pullin. A very nervous I'm sorry Your Honor. I cannot. My hands were shaking and so, I think, was my voice. I felt like I had just done something very terrible. Very quiet courtroom (or so it seemed). The judge asked me several questions to make sure, I guess, I wasn't saying that to get out of jury duty. Was it a moral stance? Yes, I have served the church 31 years--I can't go against all that I've said, taught, and done for that length of time. We had several back and forth question and answers. The judge was very polite yet strict, following, in my impression, the exact letter of the law in her questions.
While this was happening I sort of teared up because I felt like I was letting someone (the court? the judge?) down. I wasn't following the law. Then she asked how I would feel if it was a member of my family that had been killed. Okay. That did it. Tears start flowing. You? Aliyah? Sabrina? Michael III? David? Michael? MacKenzie? Even MIke? All of your faces--different family moments were rushing through my mind. I don't think I answered very coherently and I do remember apologizing to the court several times for my tears. I was thinking (and may have actually gotten most of it in words) that if something like that happened and that person was caught I would love to see him in the worst possible jail for the longest amount of time possible. But to put to death. I looked at the defendant, then the DA, then the judge. I could not live with myself if I had a hand in putting someone to death. I can't do it.
Judge (to the DA): you agree this juror may be summarily dismissed? Yes, your honor. To the defendant's lawyer same question. Your honor may I approach the jury? Yes you may. (Aha--the red duct tape x is where the attorney stands when he talks to the juror). I think I stared at that x during the entire first question from him. Mrs. Pullin. I'm sorry, please repeat what you said. A smile. His questions were so turned around! I had to really concentrate on what he was saying. He was, I think, trying to get me to say I would follow the judge's instructions and I would vote for death penalty but only in the clearest of situations and the most heinous of crimes. I remember thinking once "huh?" One of my answers started with "If I heard you correctly......." I saw the judge hide a smile. I thought, okay. My hands are shaking, I can't control my tears and this lawyer wants me on the jury so I will skew its viewpoint. I'm sorry, sir. I will never (oh my gosh am I saying this?!) have a hand in any death penalty on any case anywhere. The last is said kind of in a gulp with a voice shaking from trying to not just burst into sobs. I want to be polite, firm and in control. Oh no, I'm shaking, in tears and scared, of what I'm not sure.
Judge: Mrs. Pullin, thank you so much for your time. You have completed your duty and are now dismissed. Thank you, your Honor. The bailiff comes over to escort me out; as I walk in front of the DA's table, I hear a sincere "thank you Mrs Pullin" from the DA.
I was exhausted when I left the courthouse.
I think the biggest surprise of this entire process was how flippant some people are with duties like this. The death penalty. That's huge! I was actually shocked at how some of the jurors said sure as if squashing a bug or something. A law I lost sleep over, worried about, questioned my belief system over was just an oh well (or so it seemed) to other people. It wasn't like TV. Part of the process was very tedious. Then 5 minutes (it seemed like forever) of defending what I believe in that is more important than the law of the land. It is mind boggling.
