Can You Sentence this Man to Death, Mrs. Pullin?

Recently, my mother-in-law, Cindy Pullin, was dismissed from a jury because of her belief system. I asked her to share her story. These are her words:

250 people were summoned to report to court on the Monday after Easter. We reported at 8:30 in the morning, checked in, and given directions to the courtroom.   It was 9:15 when the judge came in and all were asked to rise.  She was very cordial but blunt and to the point.  She made a strong point for jurors not to waste her time by being late. She had a great leading remark, something in the order of, " When each of you received your summons in the mail, you thought 'why me?' or 'how can I get out of this?' or both."  Most of us laughed.  She then explained the law, reading portions of it word by word, and talked about civic duty.  It was very interesting.   After that she explained the process of elimination.  First the computer would pick 60 names at random.  Those 60 people would stay for questioning; the others would leave having fulfilled their duty.  My name was one of the 60 picked.

After the others left the courtroom, the judge then told us about the trial.  It was regarding a case of a man accused of murder in the 1st degree--3 adult members of a family--and aggravated assault with intent to murder another person.   My heart sank.  Up until then I had kind of wanted to get on the jury and serve.  I immediately started to "borrow trouble" with all sorts of scenarios in my mind.

The clerks passed out a 5 page questionnaire that all of us were asked to fill out. Then we were all given a card with a group letter and a juror number.  Each group was assigned a specific time to report back.  My time was Thursday at 9 am.   

Between teaching, getting ready for a hymn festival, normal duties at the church and the family stuff I would worry over the trial.  The death penalty.  That was a specter haunting me.  The judge had told us NOT to talk about the trial, to read any publicity, etc.  However, I did talk to Pastor Mike about the death penalty. I tend to drive a little on the fast side, I've been known to jaywalk but I've never actually thought about not upholding a law.  Oklahoma has the death penalty as law.  I'm supposed to abide by the law.  I couldn't even really talk to my husband.  How much of our conversation would be "abstract" and how much of it would be because he didn't want me to serve on a murder trial jury?  At Aunt Shirley's funeral last Tuesday, my mind would turn to the family who had lost so much and suffered so terribly.  But no matter what the jury would find or do, that family's loss could never be fixed.  Justice?  What is it really?  Could I play God?

I was very nervous when I reported back for jury duty Thursday. The courtroom door had signs on it saying closed session.  For some reason that startled me.  I was involved in something that was "closed".  As we filed in, the attorneys, court clerk, defendant all stood up.  As we crossed the floor I noticed an x in red duct tape on the floor.  Hmmm.  

All stand--the judge comes in--you may be seated.  We are reminded of our oaths that were administered at our first session.  We must be honest and tell the truth even if embarrassing.  She was really trying to impress the seriousness of the selection process--this is not TV or a video game.

Couple of easy questions--do you live in Cleveland County, are of you legal age, etc--to get used to speaking in turn and loudly enough so all could hear, including the court reporter.  

Harder questions.  Can you disregard statements if stricken from the record?   Can you follow my specific directions regarding the law and what may go against everything you think.  Several flippant "of course" or "yes".  She asked several people to take their time with their answers.  My turn.  Your honor, does this question include the punishment phase of the trial if defendant is found guilty?  Yes.  I have reservations.  Mrs. Pullin, so noted; that will be addressed in a minute.  She finished the rest of the row's answers.  Paused.  Then explained exactly what the charges were and the punishments applicable if found guilty:  life imprisonment w/chance of parole, life without parole or death.  The death penalty had specific criteria to meet.

Question; Can you follow the law in regards to the 3 phases of the penalty.  Yes.  Yes.. Sure.  The judge asks that respondent to think about his answer.  Yes.  Flippant yes.   A hesitant yes.  Yes, but for the death penalty the criteria would have be very obvious.  yesss.  Mrs. Pullin.  A very nervous I'm sorry Your Honor.  I cannot.  My hands were shaking and so, I think, was my voice.  I felt like I had just done something very terrible.  Very quiet courtroom (or so it seemed).  The judge asked me several questions to make sure, I guess, I wasn't saying that to get out of jury duty.  Was it a moral stance? Yes, I have served the church 31 years--I can't go against all that I've said, taught, and done for that length of time.  We had several back and forth question and answers.  The judge was very polite yet strict, following, in my impression, the exact letter of the law in her questions.  

While this was happening I sort of teared up because I felt like I was letting someone (the court?  the judge?) down.  I wasn't following the law.  Then she asked how I would feel if it was a member of my family that had been killed.  Okay.  That did it.  Tears start flowing.  You?  Aliyah? Sabrina?  Michael III?  David?  Michael? MacKenzie?  Even MIke?  All of your faces--different family moments were rushing through my mind.  I don't think I answered very coherently and I do remember apologizing to the court several times for my tears.  I was thinking (and may have actually gotten most of it in words) that if something like that happened and that person was caught I would love to see him in the worst possible jail for the longest amount of time possible.  But to put to death.  I looked at the defendant, then the DA, then the judge.  I could not live with myself if I had a hand in putting someone to death.  I can't do it.

Judge (to the DA): you agree this juror may be summarily dismissed?  Yes, your honor.  To the defendant's lawyer same question.  Your honor may I approach the jury?  Yes you may.  (Aha--the red duct tape x is where the attorney stands when he talks to the juror).  I think I stared at that x during the entire first question from him.  Mrs. Pullin.  I'm sorry, please repeat what you said.  A smile.  His questions were so turned around!  I had to really concentrate on what he was saying.  He was, I think, trying to get me to say I would follow the judge's instructions and I would vote for death penalty but only in the clearest of situations and the most heinous of crimes.  I remember thinking once "huh?"  One of my answers started with "If I heard you correctly......."  I saw the judge hide a smile.  I thought, okay.  My hands are shaking, I can't control my tears and this lawyer wants me on the jury so I will skew its viewpoint.  I'm sorry, sir.  I will never (oh my gosh am I saying this?!) have a hand in any death penalty on any case anywhere.  The last is said kind of in a gulp with a voice shaking from trying to not just burst into sobs. I want to be polite, firm and in control.  Oh no, I'm shaking, in tears and scared, of what I'm not sure.

Judge:  Mrs. Pullin, thank you so much for your time.  You have completed your duty and are now dismissed.  Thank you, your Honor.  The bailiff comes over to escort me out; as I walk in front of the DA's table, I hear a sincere "thank you Mrs Pullin" from the DA.   

I was exhausted when I left the courthouse.   

I think the biggest surprise of this entire process was how flippant some people are with duties like this.  The death penalty. That's huge!  I was actually shocked at how some of the jurors said sure as if squashing a bug or something.  A law I lost sleep over, worried about, questioned my belief system over was just an oh well (or so it seemed) to other people. It wasn't like TV.  Part of the process was very tedious.  Then 5 minutes (it seemed like forever) of defending   what I believe in that is more important than the law of the land.  It is mind boggling.

Join Me in 40 Days of Prayer for Renewal of the UMC

Noted theologian and all around great guy Ben Simpson recently had the grand idea of initiating a campaign to pray for the renewal of the United Methodist Church. I am honored to be one of 40 people who have written prayers for the initiative, and one of hundreds who have agreed to pray together each day for 40 days beginning May 18. Laity and clergy from across the country are joining in the excitement. The best news- you don't even have to be United Methodist to join in! Renewal of the denomination is simply one means for praying, "your kingdom come, your will be done."

Want to join? Of course you do, and here's how. Beginning May 18, visit the United Methodist Young Clergy site each day for the daily prayer, or, even easier than that, sign up to receive the prayers daily using the RSS feed.

See you in our prayers.

Taking God by Surprise

This post started as a reply to a comment that was made on my blog post, "Dear God, thanks for nothing," but after writing a while, I realized it was more than a mere comment. So, here it is...

Why doesn't God directly tell us exactly what is expected of us? That's a great question to ponder. I think of my own child; even at 5, I allow her to make as many choices as possible. Sure, I still have some clear expectations, but my hope and plan is that as she grows older, she makes more and more decisions on her own. Some I may disagree with, some may surprise me, but she must have the freedom to discover, and sometimes even forge, her own path in life in order to live fully into who she is. If I were to dictate too much, the beauty and uniqueness that is Aliyah would be lost.

I think our relationship with God is similar. When we are young, we are given some clear, simple, easy to understand guidelines, but as we mature, we are allowed to explore more and more on our own, to discover the beauty of life and to forge our path. We do this while in a relationship with God that is hopefully deepening, but is also dynamic. Yes, I think we sometimes even surprise God. To propose that God can be surprised, by the way, is not necessarily heresy. Read Clark Pinnock, "Most Moved Mover." In speaking of our loving relationship with God, Pinnock says, "Love is a pilgrimage into the unknown because it does not know the outcome of every detail in advance. There is an element of the unknown because love abandons securities and goes on a journey."

So, as frustrating as it sometimes is to not hear directly and audibly from God, sometimes it may also be a gift and an avenue to a fuller life and a greater relationship with God and with one another.

It's a Family Thing

This morning, a few other pastors and I had the privilege of serving in our children's ministry's very first Family Communion Day. After worship, parents were invited to bring their children to a room that had been set aside just for communion so that they could celebrate the sacrament together. Sunday School teachers had prepared the children for this by teaching about Jesus' last supper with his disciples and how communion is our remembrance of this.

Many thumbs up to our children's ministry for this special worship element. The room was prepared thoughtfully, with five beautiful communion tables, candles and soft music, the atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable, and a large number of families took advantage of the opportunity.

Many of the children had never taken communion before, and it was so cool to be a part of their first experience. We teamed with their parents to walk them through their first communion, and the relaxed atmosphere set them at ease so that they were not overwhelmed, nervous or bored. I loved watching their smiles, their twinkling eyes, their laughter as they accepted the bread of life and the cup of salvation. Some ate their bread before dipping it into the juice, others dropped their bread into the juice and then looked at me with confusion. So, we just smiled and gave them more bread and another chance.

One family made an event out of two of their children's first communion. They invited the entire extended family, took pictures the entire time, and then family pictures after communion. Their little girl, after communion, exclaimed, "Yum!" Perfect. Communion as a party, a significant life event, and even a delight to the taste. It makes sense, if we are doing this in remembrance of Christ, the bridegroom who invites us all to the great feast.

I'm looking forward to the next family communion day, and the day when every day is one big family communion.

Spin Mistress

So, I started a new spin class today. For those who don't know, this is an indoor cycling class. The instructor turns on some fast-paced music, sits on her cycle in front of us, then does her best to induce heart attacks by leading us all up never ending hills. For some reason, there's never any down hills in spin classes.

During one of the songs, she split the room into two teams. Now, I'm all about competition. The drive to win is one of the strongest drives within me, so I was geared up for whatever challenge she threw our way.

To my surprise, though, it wasn't a competition. Team one was the first to sprint for a full minute, while team two's responsibility was to cheer and holler for team one. Then we reversed roles. Now, I felt a little silly yelling and clapping for team one, a group of women pedaling for dear life on their stationary bikes. I mean, what was the point?

Then it was our turn to sprint. For one tremendously long minute. And those cheers and applause were the only thing that kept me going. Thanks, team one!

So, tomorrow I'm going to look for someone else to cheer for, even if I feel a bit silly.

Adding Parents to Our Family

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter began exhibiting very strange behavior; she made her bed every morning. Even while we were visiting family in Oklahoma, she neatly smoothed her blanket on her little blowup mattress every day.

I didn't know where she learned that kind of behavior. Certainly not from her dad or me. But, kids will be kids, so I decided to let it slide and didn't say anything about it.

Things finally came to a head, though, one morning when we were running behind schedule. After brushing her hair, I told her to grab her jacket so we could run out the door. She looked at me wide-eyed, and gasped, "But I haven't made my bed yet!"

"Honey," I said, with as much patience as I could muster, "you don't need to make your bed."

"But my Karate coach said I had to make my bed every morning," she explained, and ran into her room at top speed.

So there it is. In just two weeks of lessons, her Karate coach surpassed my influence over my daughter. This week, thanks to the coach's instruction, she has memorized her full address and telephone number, something I've been working on with her for months.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to the Karate coach. Actually, I'm thinking of sending him a list of suggestions: tell the students they must learn to cook dinner, give ribbons for learning to mow the lawn.

The thing is, I know that this is just the beginning of other influential people in her life. Actually, it's probably well beyond the beginning. So, I now know that one of my parental responsibilities is to carefully choose, as much as I can, who those influencers are.

First major decision: the Karate coach stays.

A Weekend of Good Stuff

It's not often that I use this blog for promotion, but I just had to let you know of a couple of great opportunities this weekend. And I'll be at both, which of course sweetens the deal.

This Saturday night at 7:00 is Justice Jam in the Church of the Resurrection student center (the east building). For just a $10 suggested donation, you get to enjoy the awesome music of the band Waterdeep and, best of all, make the world a better place. Proceeds benefit Love146, an organization dedicated to fighting sex trafficking around the world. Can you think of a better way to spend your Saturday night? Because I can't.

The fun doesn't stop there. On Sunday, we're hosting our second lunch and discussion at Church of the Resurrection after the 10:45 worship service. You'll have an opportunity to delve into conversation with others about the current sermon series. I guarantee that at your table you will have at least one, quite possibly five, people in a different generation than you. Last week, one table's participants ranged in age from 19-85, and they had some pretty rich discussion. You should only come if you're willing to listen to ideas and opinions different from your own, and excited about the possibility of a new perspective. This week's sermon topic: When Christians Get it Wrong When Talking About Other Religions. Registration is $10 and includes a delicious lunch.

So, don't tell me you're bored this weekend.